Unleashed Self Confidence
Confidence. That’s what we are practicing this month in the Unbuttoned Membership Program.
It’s the most essential ingredient to giving and receiving love. And, a concept built on a whole lot of untruths. Every woman I’ve ever worked with believed that if she were just “more” confident, she wouldn’t have ended up unhappy in her relationship, or worse, alone. This isn’t true.
Now, before you throw your hands up and label yourself “unconfident,” keep reading.
Confidence isn’t a destination. You don’t arrive one day.
And it isn’t an absence of fear. Fear never goes away, lovely. Fear is a natural by-product of your beautiful mind’s efforts to keep you alive. Your brain is always looking for things to fear. Fear is a gift. Every woman you look at and say “wow, she looks confident,” was probably standing in front of her mirror that morning, wondering if she had what it took. It isn’t fear that stops you from being confident.
You get to choose confidence as a way of life.
There’s no catch.
Confidence is simply a choice to practice something until it feels natural. The good news is you already have all the qualities you need to feel confident, you just get to recognize them and allow them to bubble up for the world to see.
A Confident Woman:
Is willing to show up authentically as herself. Nothing is more beautiful, alluring or enviable than a woman who learns to let go and pursue what lights her up, regardless of the opinions of others (which by the way, she knows she can never change anyway.)
Embraces the power of being passionately provocative. This may look like conflict at times. But it is really just an honest determination to fight for what you want. News flash - it is the opposite of how we typically show up in love, which is where we instinctively and unconsciously DO create conflict in relationships. I’ll share the difference this month.
Generously gives from her heart - her time, energy and love. She doesn’t hold back until “he does something worthy of her,” she doesn’t feel controlled, because she feels free to “recalibrate” anything not in alignment with who she is.
Has a Vision for her life - She understands that vision is more powerful than her fear.
Is open. She wants to hear how she is showing up, because she wants a deep, intimate relationship and she knows that will challenge her to grow.
Learn how to re-tell her story from a place of ownership. She sees that the masks she has worn to protect her heart were simply parts of her that need love. When those “shadow” parts are allowed to show up, they can be healed.
We are going to use tools that support these qualities you already possess. Because Confidence is nothing more than a practice.
Sound like fun? It is - if what you want most in life is a 10 out of 10 relationship with a man you are happy to sleep with, and still happy to wake up to.
The best part of all – you will begin to see that he doesn’t matter. Meaning, he could spontaneously combust in a corner somewhere and it doesn’t impact your ability to be a confident woman. He doesn’t control you. You do.
Confidence is the art of owning your life, your choices and treating yourself in the way you want to be loved. Hint - How you treat yourself is the key to how he will treat you.
If you are not happy in the life you’ve created and you have stopped making time for yourself, investing energy and money into caring for yourself, you are unconsciously training him (or any potential him) to ignore you and your needs.
Love is scary, because we put ourselves out there with a romanticized notion that life will be easier and we will feel safe and loved. And the opposite is true. Loving someone places us squarely in the most vulnerable, exposed, uncertain place in the world. Because he can’t give you what you want the most - a guarantee that you are lovable, cherished, and will never be alone.
It may sting to hear that. But the good news about the power of confidence is that it supports you to own your life. It allows you to create what you have been waiting to receive from him, the knowledge that nothing outside of you has the power to crush what is inside of you. That’s confidence.
Your relationship just needs you to be you.
When you are confidently showing up as yourself, you enjoy the flow when everything feels easy and you don’t panic when it feels hard.
I know you didn’t commit to him thinking it would be hard. I understand. You were drawn to your partner out of a sense that he complimented or completed you. Using simple math, that gave you the belief that the two of you together would create something better, much better, than what you could create alone. He believed the same thing or he wouldn’t have pursued you, just so you know…
But relationships aren’t about the “love,” they are about the “lover.” What you feel, want to feel, or don’t want to feel comes from you. Love is an action verb, a choice. That is what makes the practice of self confidence so critical. Intimacy requires vulnerability. And vulnerability requires confidence.
Join us this month as we are “Unleashing Self Confidence.”
Create a blueprint that allows you to show up authentically and confidently – regardless of what is going on outside of you.
Pump it up and unleash it on the world. Look out - you will be strutting your stuff at the end of the month.