You’re Not Stuck. You’re Scared
How do I say this gently?
I’ve learned that every relationship is a mirror, reflecting back emotions I am either seeking - or avoiding.
At the core, everything we do is emotionally driven.
So when I say that you have exactly the life your emotions created - it sounds like I’m saying, hey, this is on you…
And, well, I am. But….. don’t slam the computer shut just yet.
It’s not your fault.
Most of the time, we aren’t even responding to our own emotions - we’re reacting to something external…activated, triggered, driven to act… or avoid based on something that happens outside of us.
Comments or circumstances create stories based on what we fear we can’t have. And we don’t always know why.
The initial instinct is to blame. And that sends us into a spiral of either doing more, defending or shutting down. We are afraid to feel, express, share. So how can we create connection?
That visceral experience you have while watching the news - perfect example. It’s natural.
It’s Fear.
But it is what we do with that fear that shapes our world and everything we have - including - or should I say, especially, our relationships.
Since that is my job, relationships, I’ve spent years studying why we do what we do.
It always comes back to one basic thing, emotion… we’re driven by emotion, not intention or discipline or logic. Every program out there, no matter how hard-core, is based on something we want to feel—accomplished, successful, abundant, loved, worthy, admired, free…
Now, if you are a Generator, you may find systematic programs serve you well. And you may succeed - WHILE - you are doing them. I see this quite a lot. I have one beautiful client that is still doing daily check-ins…. Three years later, even though no one else, including myself, is.
But what happens when the program ends, when there isn’t someone there to lead the way? How do new habits - ones we want - sink in and take root?
That’s been my quest since becoming a Life Coach. The things we work on to improve relationships - find love, heal what we have, or have the courage to move forward without it - IF - we can’t see our progress?
Answer: Often we don’t. We quit or give up and settle.
My work with you isn’t often measurable. You can’t quantify intangible progression. So, it often leads women to “feel” they haven’t changed.
Truth? They haven’t. We don’t “change” who we are.
We hit a wall. Not because we’re weak, but because we are conditioned. We’ve spent years absorbing ideas about how we “should” operate - without questioning if they actually work for us.
That’s where Human Design comes in. It allows you to see “Why”.... Why some things feel impossible while others come effortlessly. It doesn’t put you in a box—it shows you the one you’ve been living in.
The more you understand how energy moves through you, the more freedom you have to make choices that align FOR you. Kind of like getting advance notice of bad weather heading your way.
That’s why I write - Transit Tonic - a monthly guide to energetic influences affecgting us all. The first few times you connect the dots, it’s almost eerie. But once you begin to see it, you won’t unsee it.
Think of it as your personal cosmic weather report - helping up navigate the shifts, rather than feeling tossed around by them.
Here’s what I mean… If you are a Manifestor, Projector, or even a Manifesting Generator and you follow one of the many - please hear me - very strong, very good programs to do the same thing everyday to build discipline and shift unhealthy patterns - what happens when you miss a day… or two… or heaven forbid a week?
Answer: The wheels come off the bus. Suddenly any progress you thought you’d made sets up a mental loop of self judgment that include things like “should,” or “failure.”
I know this first hand. I’ve spent my entire life trying to be consistent, believing that if I were just consistent, I’d win. But that’s not how I’m wired.
That’s me trying to fit into a perfectly good Generator box…. And failing like a champ. Because I’m not a Generator. I do not have consistent Sacral Energy. Now, I can get amazing things done in incredibly short amounts of time… things other people marvel at.
But here’s the other part of conditioning - because I don’t struggle to do them, I dismiss or downplay them as unimportant… “Can't everyone do this?” No, actually they can’t.
Once I understood how my energy worked, however, and stopped trying to be, act, achieve in a formulaic way that everyone said was “the only way”... my life changed. I could shift my inner dialogue from one of “shame” to acceptance.
I stopped fighting myself. I stopped doing things that drained me. I stopped making decisions based on fear.
But just reading about my design didn’t create what I wanted, healing my conditioning did. I’m still on the journey. I imagine I will be as long as I live. That’s the other trap we fall into - believing that when “X” happens, or we have “Y”... we will feel good all the time.
Wrong… we won’t … we aren’t designed to be on a constant high. Life is more complex than that. We are designed to experience low points, mood shifts, often brought on by things beyond our control.
Let’s face it.. We aren’t in control of anything.. Except us… and that is the key to finding calm in the storm. If we can’t avoid the storm, knowing how to meet it keeps us from “hiding our light.”
And that is what I’ve finally put together, after nine years of doing this work… 75 Easy.
Because awareness without action is just information. But actions set up to challenge us every single day don’t work for all energy types, they only foster a sense of failure.
Your life is already hard enough. And, if you are like me, you sign up for anything that promises an easy way to change things.
But if it were so easy… you’d already be doing it.
The way to manage the shadow side of emotions isn’t to fight them - it’s to work with them with intention, to create what you want to feel.
Forcing yourself through doesn’t work for everyone. It leads to burnout, overwhelm, exhaustion… hopelessness.
So, I flipped the script and that’s what CPR is all about. I shifted the model of how we’re taught to create change with these Five Words.
Create.
Play.
Rest.
CPR—sound familiar?
This idea isn’t just a catchy acronym—it’s the foundation of the work I’ve built into my program.
Because when your nervous system is in survival mode, you’re running on empty, and fear is in the driver’s seat. That is when you most need something easy.
The last two words?
Rinse
Repeat
Why? Because studies show a direct link between creativity, play, rest and life success.
Think about it… I’ve never had an argument with doing something that inspired or lit me up.
I’ve never gone to sleep in tears after a an evening with loved ones laughing and playing.
And I’ve learned not to judge myself as hapless or lazy if my body tells me it needs to rest. Even Einstein took daily naps after all.
What is it you deny yourself - for the “greater good?”
Is it working?
If not, I want to invite you to become a creature of instinct - to de-condition and heal by listening to your body, hearing your inner voice, shedding the masks that challenge you to conform.
because….
Chaos is Emotional Overload.
(The result of Chasing outcomes that never deliver, or feeling helpless to change anything.)
Empowerment is Emotional Intelligence.
(The awareness and allowance of emotions prevent overreaction.)
Connection is Emotional Management.
(The ability to own what is yours to experience and release others to have theirs fosters authentic connection.)
This work changes how you view your life. When you learn to work with your emotions, rather than be ruled by them, you reclaim your life.
You stop being a bystander, and become part of what I’m calling the Solution Revolution.
When you are Empowered not to fear what you feel - or take on the feelings that aren’t yours to carry - You start leading the change with joy and lightness